Heheheh!

[Severus Snape]

The first page of SS in different dialects, translated by a dialect generator: www.rinkworks.com/dialect/dialectt.cgi

JIVE

Mr. Ah be baaad... and Mrs. Dursley, uh numba' foe, Privet Roll, wuz proud t'say dat dey wuz puh'fectly no'mal, dank ya' real much. Lop some boogie. Dey wuz de last sucka's ya''d 'espect t'be involved in nuthin funky o' mah'sterious, a'cuz dey plum dun didn't hold wid such nonsense. Mr. Ah be baaad... Dursley wuz de directo' uh a firm called Grunnin's, which made drills. He wuz some big, beefy joker wid hardly any neck, aldough he dun did have some very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley wuz din and blonde and had nearly twice da damn usual amount uh neck, which came in real useful as she spent so's much uh ha' time cranin' upside garden fences, spyin' on de neighbo's. De Dursleys had some small son called Dudley and in deir opinion dere wuz no fina' boy anywhere. De Dursleys had everydin' dey wants'ed, but dey also had some secret, and deir greatest fear wuz dat some fool would discova' it. Man! Dey dun didn't dink dey could bear it if any sucka found out about da damn Potters. Mrs. Potta' wuz Mrs. Dursley's sister, but dey hadn't met fo' several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she dun didn't gots some sister, cuz' her sista' and ha' baaaad-fo'-nodin' husband wuz as unDursleyish as it wuz possible t'be. De Dursleys shuddered t'dink whut de neighbo's would say if de Potters arrived in de street. Man! De Dursleys knowed dat de Potters had some small son, too, but dey had neva' even seen him. WORD! Dis boy wuz anoda' baaaad reason fo' keepin' de Potters away; dey dun didn't wants' Dudley mixin' wid some child likes dat. Man! When Mr. Ah be baaad... and Mrs. Dursley woke down on de dull, gray Tuesday our sto'y starts, dere wuz nodin' about da damn cloudy sky outside t'suggest dat funky and mah'sterious doodads would soon be happenin' all upside de country. Slap mah fro! Mr. Ah be baaad... Dursley hummed as he picked out his most bo'in' tie fo' wo'k, and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled some screamin' Dudley into his high chair.

[Severus Snape]

COCKNEY

Guvnor and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, right, Privet Drive, were proud ter say that they were perfectly normal, thank yer right much. They were the chuffin' last blokes yer'd expect ter be involved in anyfink strange or mesterious, because they just didn't 'old wiv such nonsense. Guvnor Dursley were the bloomin' director of a firm called Grunnings, right, wich made drills. Right. He were a big, right, beefy man wiv 'ardly any neck, alffough 'e did have a right large mustache. Mrs. Dursley were fin and blonde and 'ad nearly twice the usual amount of neck, wich came in right useful as she spent so much of 'er time cranin' over garden fences, right, spyin' on the neighbors, init?The Dursleys 'ad a wee son called Dudley and in their opinion there were no not so badr boy anywhere. The Dursleys 'ad evryfink they wanted, right, but they also 'ad a secret, and ffeir greatest fear were that some fairy would discover it. They didn't ffink they could bear it if any fairy found out about the bloomin' Potters. Mrs. Potter were Mrs. Dursley's sister, right, but they 'adn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't 'ave a sister, because 'er sister and 'er good-for-nuffink ole man were as unDursleyish as it were possible ter be. The Dursleys shuddered ter ffink wot the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters 'ad a wee son, right, too, right, but they 'ad never even seen 'im. This boy was anuvver good reason for keepin' the bloomin' Potters oray; they didn't want Dudley mixin' wiv a child like that. Wen Guvnor and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the bloody dull, gray Tuesday us story starts, there were nuffink about the cloudy sky outside ter suggest that strange and mesterious fings would soon be 'appenin' all over the country. Guvnor Dursley 'ummed as 'e picked out 'is most borin' tie for work, and Mrs. Dursley gossiped oray 'appily as she wrestled a screamin' Dudley into 'is 'igh chair.

[Severus Snape]

REDNECK

Mr. an' Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud t'say thet they were puffickly no'mal, thank yo' mighty much. They were th' last varmints yo'd speck t'be involved in ennythin' peekoolyar o' mahsterious, on account o' they jest didn't hold wif sech fiddlesticks. Mr. Dursley was th' direcko' of a firm called Grunnin's, which made drills. He was a trimenjus, beefy man wif hardly enny neck, although he did have a mighty large mussache. Mrs. Dursley was skimpy an' blonde an' had nearly twice th' usual amount of neck, which came in mighty useful as she spent so much of her time cranin' on over garden fences, spyin' on the neighbo's. Th' Dursleys had a small son called Dudley an' in their opinion thar was no finer fella ennywhar. Th' Dursleys had ev'rythin' they wanted, but they also had a secret, an' their greatess fear was thet somebody'd discovah it. They didn't reckon they c'd bar it eff'n ennyone foun' out about th' Potters. Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met fo' sevahal years; in fack, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't haf a sister, on account o' her sister an' her fine-fo'-nothin' husbin were as unDursleyish as it was postible t'be. Th' Dursleys shuddered t'reckon whut th' neighbo's'd say eff'n th' Potters arrived in th' street. Th' Dursleys knowed thet the Potters had a small son, too, but they had nevah even see him, dawgone it. This hyar fella was t'other fine reason fo' keepin' th' Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixin' wif a chile like thet. When Mr. an' Mrs. Dursley woke up on th' dull, gray Tuesday our sto'y starts, thar was nothin' about th' cloudy sky outside t'suggess thet peekoolyar an' mahsterious thin's'd soon be happenin' all on over the country. Mr. Dursley hoommed as he picked out his most bo'in' tie fo' wawk, an' Mrs. Dursley gostiped away happily as she wrestled a screamin' Dudley into his high chair.

[Severus Snape]

Swedish Chef

Mr. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! und Mrs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Doorsley, ooff noomber fuoor, Preefet Dreefe-a, vere-a pruood tu sey thet zeey vere-a perffectly nurmel, thunk yuoo fery mooch. Zeey vere-a zee lest peuple-a yuoo'd ixpect tu be-a infulfed in unytheeng strunge-a oor mystereeuoos, becoose-a zeey joost deedn't huld veet sooch nunsense-a. Mr. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Doorsley ves zee durectur ooff a furm celled Groonneengs, vheech mede-a dreells. Um gesh dee bork, bork! He-a ves a beeg, beeffy mun veet herdly uny neck, elthuoogh he-a deed hefe-a a fery lerge-a moosteche-a. Mrs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Doorsley ves theen und blunde-a und hed neerly tveece-a zee usooel emuoont ooff neck, vheech ceme-a in fery useffool es she-a spent su mooch ooff her teeme-a cruneeng oofer gerdee fences, spyeeng oon zee neeeghburs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zee Doorsleys hed a smell sun celled Doodley und in zeeur oopeeniun zeere-a ves nu feener buy unyvhere-a. Zee Doorsleys hed iferytheeng zeey vunted, boot zeey elsu hed a secret, und zeeur greetest feer ves thet sumebudy vuoold deescufer it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Zeey deedn't theenk zeey cuoold beer it iff unyune-a fuoond oooot ebuoot zee Putters. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Mrs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Putter ves Mrs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Doorsley's seester, boot zeey hedn't met fur seferel yeers; in fect, Mrs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Doorsley pretended she-a deedn't hefe-a a seester, becoose-a her seester und her guud-fur-nutheeng hoosbund vere-a es unDoorsleyeesh es it ves pusseeble-a tu be-a. Zee Doorsleys shooddered tu theenk vhet zee neeeghburs vuoold sey iff zee Putters erreefed in zee street. Um de hur de hur de hur. Zee Doorsleys knoo thet zee Putters hed a smell sun, tuu, boot zeey hed nefer ifee seee heem. Thees buy ves unuzeer guud reesun fur keepeeng zee Putters evey; zeey deedn't vunt Doodley meexing veet a cheeld leeke-a thet. Um de hur de hur de hur. Vhee Mr. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! und Mrs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Doorsley vuke-a up oon zee dooll, grey Tooesdey oooor stury sterts, zeere-a ves nutheeng ebuoot zee cluoody sky ooootseede-a tu sooggest thet strunge-a und mystereeuoos theengs vuoold suun be-a heppeneeng ell oofer zee cuoontry. Bork bork bork! Mr. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Doorsley hoommed es he-a peecked oooot hees must bureeng teee-a fur vurk, und Mrs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Doorsley gusseeped evey heppeely es she-a vrestled a screemeeng Doodley intu hees heegh cheur.