Post by Big Brother on Jun 2, 2005 1:33:52 GMT -5
After the subject of badly dubbed Anime came up in a recent chatroom convo with Lolua and Mlle, I dug this out of my private archive of internet jokes...this post originally appeared in an MST3K newsgroup and was reposted in alt.humor.best-of-usenet which is where I found it...
Subject: Re: I amuse my nipples.
From: Matt Elcock cvajvm11@jbeyqarg.ngg.arg
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc
On Sun, 09 Apr 2000 08:25:11 GMT, "Michael Clear"
<maclear@9th-Circle-Of-Spam-Hell.com> wrote:
>
>Ed Stasium <stasium@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:38EFFAB5.23EF206F@hotmail.com...
>> I always feel so left out when threads like this come up. The closest
>> thing to "anime" that I've seen is stuff like "Speed Racer" and "Tranzor
>> Z." I guess the latter was a *bit* like "sex anime," what with those
>> infamous breast/missiles and all. (I wonder if the creator of Tranzor Z
>> was bottle-fed.)
>>
>> Was "Voltron" dubbed into English? Thinking back on it, the characters
>> looked a bit anime-ish -- huge eyes, button noses, perfectly round
>> mouths that open to absurd widths.
>>
>> I've seen a few seconds of "Dragonball Z" and "Sailor Moon," but I can't
>> seem to get through an entire episode of either series. From what I've
>> seen of those, both shows are about over-stimulated lunatics who shout
>> non-sequitirs at each other while performing random surrealist
>> activities. No scene lasts longer than 12 seconds, and the audio and
>> video are not *necessarily* related to one another. I imagine the
>> scripting process involves throwing a thesaurus into a blender and
>> seeing what comes out. Here's my estimation of a typical TV "anime"
>> scene...
>>
>>
>>
>> CAT: Aaahhh! Where is the mind!
>>
>> [CUT TO: GROUP OF SCHOOLGIRLS FLYING THROUGH SPACE]
>>
>> GIRL #1: Too much vision!
>> GIRL #2: There is no remedy for the suitcase!
>> GIRL #3: I cannot exist!
>>
>> [GIRL #2 TRANSFORMS INTO A WINGED DEMON]
>>
>> [CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE-UP OF SMIRKING VILLAIN]
>>
>> VILLAIN: So many hats! Ha ha ha ha ha!
>>
>> [WIDE SHOT REVEALS VILLAIN IS ENCASED IN GIANT GLOWING CUBE. TALKING
>> CAT ENTERS FRAME.]
>>
>> CAT: Which is the more repellant of the two?
>> VILLAIN: I will never surrender!
>>
>> It's at this point that I lose heart and switch to a "Real McCoys" rerun
>> on the Nashville Network to soothe my jangled nerves.
>
>Oh, don't leave. That's the point where it just starts to get good.
>
>CAT: Quickly girls, do the thing. (poorly translated from Japanese by
>Disney)
>
>(The three girls are surrounded by glowing light and reappear half naked.
>This is especially indecent by the fact that their ages range from 13 to
>15.)
>
>GIRL #1: I am Momo Nunu
>
>GIRL #2: I am Momo Gogo
>
>GIRL #3: And I am Momo Yumyum. We are guardians of love, justice and other
>stuff that people think is cool.
>
>ALL THREE GIRLS: AND WE WILL PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND PUNISH YOU!
>
>VILLAIN: I am Chibo Smelly Doom! Do you brats truly think you can defeat my
>power? I shall crush you!
>
>ALL THREE GIRLS: No, we shall crush you!
>
>VILLAIN: No, I shall crush you!
>
>ALL THREE GIRLS: No, we shall crush you!
>
>And it sort of goes on like that for a while.
I think it's like this:
VILLAN runs screaming towards the three girls, flailing his tentacles (Did
we mention he has tentacles? He does now.) at them. They scury away and
dodge in a series of still frames of close misses with lost of straight
black lines.
GIRL #1: That's it! Sonic Squid Ink Ice Cream Beam!!!!
GIRL #2: Yes! Multi Zerg Madonna Refrigerator Bubbles!!!
GIRL #3: You still need help! Holy Dragon Nipple Camera Razor Solar
Techno Hooker Pimp!!!
And with that, the three of them proceed to be seen in profile spinning
around, doing a cheerleader pyramid, becoming Richard Nixon, doing a
Britney Spears video, and eventually ending up standing next to each other.
THREE GIRLS: POWER!!!!! ENHANCE!!!!!
The beam strikes the villan, who explodes into ash.
Matt "Pinwiz - And then..." Elcock
--
Moderators accept or reject articles based solely on the criteria posted
in the Frequently Asked Questions. Article content is the responsibility
of the submitter. Submit articles to ahbou-sub@duke.edu. To write to the
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Subject: Re: I amuse my nipples.
From: Matt Elcock cvajvm11@jbeyqarg.ngg.arg
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc
On Sun, 09 Apr 2000 08:25:11 GMT, "Michael Clear"
<maclear@9th-Circle-Of-Spam-Hell.com> wrote:
>
>Ed Stasium <stasium@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:38EFFAB5.23EF206F@hotmail.com...
>> I always feel so left out when threads like this come up. The closest
>> thing to "anime" that I've seen is stuff like "Speed Racer" and "Tranzor
>> Z." I guess the latter was a *bit* like "sex anime," what with those
>> infamous breast/missiles and all. (I wonder if the creator of Tranzor Z
>> was bottle-fed.)
>>
>> Was "Voltron" dubbed into English? Thinking back on it, the characters
>> looked a bit anime-ish -- huge eyes, button noses, perfectly round
>> mouths that open to absurd widths.
>>
>> I've seen a few seconds of "Dragonball Z" and "Sailor Moon," but I can't
>> seem to get through an entire episode of either series. From what I've
>> seen of those, both shows are about over-stimulated lunatics who shout
>> non-sequitirs at each other while performing random surrealist
>> activities. No scene lasts longer than 12 seconds, and the audio and
>> video are not *necessarily* related to one another. I imagine the
>> scripting process involves throwing a thesaurus into a blender and
>> seeing what comes out. Here's my estimation of a typical TV "anime"
>> scene...
>>
>>
>>
>> CAT: Aaahhh! Where is the mind!
>>
>> [CUT TO: GROUP OF SCHOOLGIRLS FLYING THROUGH SPACE]
>>
>> GIRL #1: Too much vision!
>> GIRL #2: There is no remedy for the suitcase!
>> GIRL #3: I cannot exist!
>>
>> [GIRL #2 TRANSFORMS INTO A WINGED DEMON]
>>
>> [CUT TO: EXTREME CLOSE-UP OF SMIRKING VILLAIN]
>>
>> VILLAIN: So many hats! Ha ha ha ha ha!
>>
>> [WIDE SHOT REVEALS VILLAIN IS ENCASED IN GIANT GLOWING CUBE. TALKING
>> CAT ENTERS FRAME.]
>>
>> CAT: Which is the more repellant of the two?
>> VILLAIN: I will never surrender!
>>
>> It's at this point that I lose heart and switch to a "Real McCoys" rerun
>> on the Nashville Network to soothe my jangled nerves.
>
>Oh, don't leave. That's the point where it just starts to get good.
>
>CAT: Quickly girls, do the thing. (poorly translated from Japanese by
>Disney)
>
>(The three girls are surrounded by glowing light and reappear half naked.
>This is especially indecent by the fact that their ages range from 13 to
>15.)
>
>GIRL #1: I am Momo Nunu
>
>GIRL #2: I am Momo Gogo
>
>GIRL #3: And I am Momo Yumyum. We are guardians of love, justice and other
>stuff that people think is cool.
>
>ALL THREE GIRLS: AND WE WILL PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND PUNISH YOU!
>
>VILLAIN: I am Chibo Smelly Doom! Do you brats truly think you can defeat my
>power? I shall crush you!
>
>ALL THREE GIRLS: No, we shall crush you!
>
>VILLAIN: No, I shall crush you!
>
>ALL THREE GIRLS: No, we shall crush you!
>
>And it sort of goes on like that for a while.
I think it's like this:
VILLAN runs screaming towards the three girls, flailing his tentacles (Did
we mention he has tentacles? He does now.) at them. They scury away and
dodge in a series of still frames of close misses with lost of straight
black lines.
GIRL #1: That's it! Sonic Squid Ink Ice Cream Beam!!!!
GIRL #2: Yes! Multi Zerg Madonna Refrigerator Bubbles!!!
GIRL #3: You still need help! Holy Dragon Nipple Camera Razor Solar
Techno Hooker Pimp!!!
And with that, the three of them proceed to be seen in profile spinning
around, doing a cheerleader pyramid, becoming Richard Nixon, doing a
Britney Spears video, and eventually ending up standing next to each other.
THREE GIRLS: POWER!!!!! ENHANCE!!!!!
The beam strikes the villan, who explodes into ash.
Matt "Pinwiz - And then..." Elcock
--
Moderators accept or reject articles based solely on the criteria posted
in the Frequently Asked Questions. Article content is the responsibility
of the submitter. Submit articles to ahbou-sub@duke.edu. To write to the
moderators, send mail to ahbou-mod@duke.edu.
