Post by Severus Snape on Jun 25, 2003 1:43:10 GMT -5
OotP Spoilers...Sort of...
Hermione: Harry! She’s coming!
Harry: But she’s not expected back for another few minutes!
(JARRING CHORD)
(Umbridge’s office door flies open and Umbridge enters, flanked by the Inquisitorial Squad.
Draco: NOBODY expects the Inquisitorial Squad! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency....Our*three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the High Inquisitor.... Our *four*...no...*Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again. (Exit and exeunt)
Harry: But she’s not expected back for another few minutes!
(JARRING CHORD)
(They burst in again)
Draco: NOBODY expects the Inquisitorial Squad! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the High Inquisitor, and nice green uniforms - Oh damn! (To Goyle) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Goyle: What?
Draco: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are...'
Goyle: (rather horrified): I couldn't do that...
(Draco bundles them outside again)
(JARRING CHORD)
(The Inquisitorial squad enters)
Goyle: Er.... Nobody...um....
Draco: Expects...
Goyle: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Inquisitorial...um...
Draco: Squad.
Goyle: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Inquisitorial Squad. In fact, those who do expect -
Draco: Our chief weapons are...
Goyle: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Draco: Surprise...
Goyle: Surprise and --
Draco: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ...our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Madame Inquisitor, read the charges.
Umbridge: (hem, hem)You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates break several Educational Decrees and thus commit heresy against the Ministry.
Draco: Thank you Madame Inquisitor. (To Harry) Now, how do you plead?
Harry: We're innocent!
Inquisitorial Squad: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (hem, hem…)
(Superimposed caption: 'DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER AND THROAT CLEARING’)
Draco: We'll soon change your mind about that!
(Superimposed caption: 'DIABOLICAL ACTING')
Umbridge: Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless-- (controls herself with a supreme effort) Ooooh! Now, -- the Quill of Pain!
(Goyle produces a magic marker. Umbridge looks at it and clenches her teeth in an effort not to lose control. She ‘hem’s heavily to cover her anger)
Draco: You....write! Make him write with it!
(Crabbe and Goyle make a pathetic attempt to make Harry write with it.)
Draco: Right! How do you plead?
Harry: Innocent.
Umbridge: Ha! Right! Snape, give him (oh dear) give him… the Veritaserum!
(Snape stands their awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders)
Snape: I....
Umbridge: (gritting her teeth) I *know*, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.
Snape: My … mistake?!...
Umbridge: It makes it all seem so stupid.
Draco: Shall I...?
Umbridge: No, just pretend for God's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!
(Draco forces a bottle of Coca Cola down Harrys throat. Harry drinks it without a problem)
Hermione: Harry! She’s coming!
Harry: But she’s not expected back for another few minutes!
(JARRING CHORD)
(Umbridge’s office door flies open and Umbridge enters, flanked by the Inquisitorial Squad.
Draco: NOBODY expects the Inquisitorial Squad! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency....Our*three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the High Inquisitor.... Our *four*...no...*Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again. (Exit and exeunt)
Harry: But she’s not expected back for another few minutes!
(JARRING CHORD)
(They burst in again)
Draco: NOBODY expects the Inquisitorial Squad! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the High Inquisitor, and nice green uniforms - Oh damn! (To Goyle) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Goyle: What?
Draco: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are...'
Goyle: (rather horrified): I couldn't do that...
(Draco bundles them outside again)
(JARRING CHORD)
(The Inquisitorial squad enters)
Goyle: Er.... Nobody...um....
Draco: Expects...
Goyle: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Inquisitorial...um...
Draco: Squad.
Goyle: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Inquisitorial Squad. In fact, those who do expect -
Draco: Our chief weapons are...
Goyle: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Draco: Surprise...
Goyle: Surprise and --
Draco: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ...our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Madame Inquisitor, read the charges.
Umbridge: (hem, hem)You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates break several Educational Decrees and thus commit heresy against the Ministry.
Draco: Thank you Madame Inquisitor. (To Harry) Now, how do you plead?
Harry: We're innocent!
Inquisitorial Squad: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (hem, hem…)
(Superimposed caption: 'DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER AND THROAT CLEARING’)
Draco: We'll soon change your mind about that!
(Superimposed caption: 'DIABOLICAL ACTING')
Umbridge: Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless-- (controls herself with a supreme effort) Ooooh! Now, -- the Quill of Pain!
(Goyle produces a magic marker. Umbridge looks at it and clenches her teeth in an effort not to lose control. She ‘hem’s heavily to cover her anger)
Draco: You....write! Make him write with it!
(Crabbe and Goyle make a pathetic attempt to make Harry write with it.)
Draco: Right! How do you plead?
Harry: Innocent.
Umbridge: Ha! Right! Snape, give him (oh dear) give him… the Veritaserum!
(Snape stands their awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders)
Snape: I....
Umbridge: (gritting her teeth) I *know*, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.
Snape: My … mistake?!...
Umbridge: It makes it all seem so stupid.
Draco: Shall I...?
Umbridge: No, just pretend for God's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!
(Draco forces a bottle of Coca Cola down Harrys throat. Harry drinks it without a problem)