Post by Big Brother on Apr 24, 2005 2:05:18 GMT -5
Several years ago, I was active in a USENET newsgroup for the discussion of alternate history. One of the seminal recent works of alternate history was "Island in the Sea of Time" by author S.M. Stirling, who was himself a regular in this newsgroup. The book and its two sequels featured the island of Nantucket being mysteriously thrown back in time from 1999 to 1250 BC, and the adventures of the island's inhabitants as they tried to survive in the distant past.
This concept led to several altenate-history scenarios being posted on the newsgroup about various other geographical areas being hurled back in time to an earlier era, and the effects of modern technology on events in the distant past. One of the more amusing such scenarios was called "NATO in the Sea of Time" and featured the coalition forces from Operation Desert Storm going back in time to defeat the Nazis in World War Two. This in turn led to a very funny post (which I saved to disk and giggle over to this day) featuring snippets of conversation overheard in this scenario, such as Patton being annoyed that Patton tanks were obsolete but Bradley APC's are the workhorses of the army, Anne Frank being surprised to be rescued and treated as a celebrity, and so forth.
I was thinking of this scenario recently, and wondered...what would happen if the regulars here on the IT forums were suddenly mysteriously transported to Amestria in the midst of the story seen on FMA?
And the result is thus....
The Ivory Tower in the Sea of Alchemy!
Bradley: Lassy, I'm intrigued by your idea to bring modern mining techniques to Xenotime...how much do you think you could increase our red water production by?
Roy: Big Brother, if you ask me one more time to light your cigarette with my gloves, I'll reduce you to a cinder...
Scar: No, Mlle, I won't let you photocopy my arm for your thesis on symbology...
Tucker: No, Raven, you can't volunteer to be turned into a cat chimera...
Ed: Hey, BB...why do you have the shape of a wrench imprinted in your forehead?
BB: Don't ask...but if you see Winry, tell her I'm sorry...then run!
Pinako: Sure, Lolua, we can replace your father's artificial hip with an automail leg...how much money did you say you had?
Mlle: Hey, Lolua...where's your brother?
Lolua: Well, he challenged Gluttony to an eating contest...
Mlle:
Lolua: ...and Big Brother Won...
Mlle:!
Lolua: So Gluttony ate him!
Tucker: I'll tell you the same thing I told Raven, LionheartWitty, I'm not accepting volunteers to become Cat Chimeras at the present time...
Big Brother: Anyone seen Mlle?
Lolua: She and Sheska went to the library together to do a bit of light reading...
Big Brother: Crap, now we won't see either of them for weeks!
Al: What's that stain on the wall?
Raven: Well, both Lolua and Mlle made passes at Ed...
Al: What?
Raven: ...and Big Brother overheard, and made a joke about "breeding the shortest human on record"
Al: So Ed transmuted him into oblivion?
Raven: Pretty much...
Mlle: Hmmm...anyone seen Bubba?
Big Brother: Well, he tried to introduce Disco Music to Amestria...
Mlle: Oh no...
Big Brother: Yep, Bradley had him executed for crimes against humanity!
Hughes: No, Sailor Earth, I don't think equipping my men with wooden stakes will make them any more effective against Homunculi...
Armstrong: Why, yes, Bubba...this method of making our bald heads shiny has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!
Tucker: No, Mlle, I will NOT blend copies of Hughes, Marcoh and Al together for you...
Rick: No, Mlle, I'm not interested in playing Gavroche in a production of "Les Miserables" on the stage in Central...
Lust: Silly, for the last time, I won't tell you where I buy my outfits!
Envy: So, why exactly would it be funny to transmogrify into a six-foot rabbit and surprise James in his sleep?
Big Brother: Trust me, it will be hilarious!
Ed: No, Raven, my drawings of Envy don't count as "fan art" and I don't want to register on some website called DeviantArt!
Anyone else have any suggestions for what would happen?
This concept led to several altenate-history scenarios being posted on the newsgroup about various other geographical areas being hurled back in time to an earlier era, and the effects of modern technology on events in the distant past. One of the more amusing such scenarios was called "NATO in the Sea of Time" and featured the coalition forces from Operation Desert Storm going back in time to defeat the Nazis in World War Two. This in turn led to a very funny post (which I saved to disk and giggle over to this day) featuring snippets of conversation overheard in this scenario, such as Patton being annoyed that Patton tanks were obsolete but Bradley APC's are the workhorses of the army, Anne Frank being surprised to be rescued and treated as a celebrity, and so forth.
I was thinking of this scenario recently, and wondered...what would happen if the regulars here on the IT forums were suddenly mysteriously transported to Amestria in the midst of the story seen on FMA?
And the result is thus....
The Ivory Tower in the Sea of Alchemy!
Bradley: Lassy, I'm intrigued by your idea to bring modern mining techniques to Xenotime...how much do you think you could increase our red water production by?
Roy: Big Brother, if you ask me one more time to light your cigarette with my gloves, I'll reduce you to a cinder...
Scar: No, Mlle, I won't let you photocopy my arm for your thesis on symbology...
Tucker: No, Raven, you can't volunteer to be turned into a cat chimera...
Ed: Hey, BB...why do you have the shape of a wrench imprinted in your forehead?
BB: Don't ask...but if you see Winry, tell her I'm sorry...then run!
Pinako: Sure, Lolua, we can replace your father's artificial hip with an automail leg...how much money did you say you had?
Mlle: Hey, Lolua...where's your brother?
Lolua: Well, he challenged Gluttony to an eating contest...
Mlle:
Lolua: ...and Big Brother Won...
Mlle:
!Lolua: So Gluttony ate him!
Tucker: I'll tell you the same thing I told Raven, LionheartWitty, I'm not accepting volunteers to become Cat Chimeras at the present time...
Big Brother: Anyone seen Mlle?
Lolua: She and Sheska went to the library together to do a bit of light reading...
Big Brother: Crap, now we won't see either of them for weeks!
Al: What's that stain on the wall?
Raven: Well, both Lolua and Mlle made passes at Ed...
Al: What?
Raven: ...and Big Brother overheard, and made a joke about "breeding the shortest human on record"
Al: So Ed transmuted him into oblivion?
Raven: Pretty much...
Mlle: Hmmm...anyone seen Bubba?
Big Brother: Well, he tried to introduce Disco Music to Amestria...
Mlle: Oh no...
Big Brother: Yep, Bradley had him executed for crimes against humanity!
Hughes: No, Sailor Earth, I don't think equipping my men with wooden stakes will make them any more effective against Homunculi...
Armstrong: Why, yes, Bubba...this method of making our bald heads shiny has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!
Tucker: No, Mlle, I will NOT blend copies of Hughes, Marcoh and Al together for you...
Rick: No, Mlle, I'm not interested in playing Gavroche in a production of "Les Miserables" on the stage in Central...
Lust: Silly, for the last time, I won't tell you where I buy my outfits!
Envy: So, why exactly would it be funny to transmogrify into a six-foot rabbit and surprise James in his sleep?
Big Brother: Trust me, it will be hilarious!
Ed: No, Raven, my drawings of Envy don't count as "fan art" and I don't want to register on some website called DeviantArt!
Anyone else have any suggestions for what would happen?
